Well, its Friday, March 7th. Tomorrow is the 8th. One year ago exactly that I lost my dad. I cant believe a year is gone..... there have been so many ups and downs.... This week has been hard....This whole year has just been something else....... There have been so many days stillthat I want to pick up the phone and call Dad. So many stories I want to hear over again...And I can't. if I dont remember them, they are gone. Always listen to your parents stories, cause one day they wont be around and you'll wish you had paid more attention......

I still need to get a memorial stone for the cemetary. I dont wnat him forgotten. He was cremated and scattered among old family members... We need a marker. Must contact the church and get this done.

my situation is different than most. My mother is mentally ill, and this year has been horrific. I know what Dad went through totally now. we only got the tip of it. he dealt 24/7 with it. Bi-Polar or Manic Depession, as it is known as, is a disease of the mind. it is horrible. for some reason, my mother has never had a NORMAL life even on meds. there was a period of about 7-8 years where nothing much happened, but over the past 6 years I'd say, its been worsening. Nothing seems to control either. Mom will be 70 this year. There is so much we went thru this year with her... I would have to write a book about it to tell it all and I dont have time for that. I dont have time for anything......

 I have been searching for a job for 2 weeks now and I think I finally got one today. The manager was supposed to call me tonight but she never did.... I hope she's not pulling my leg cause I need this job. I don't want to work...... but it has been said that I have to.... we dont meet our bills every month...we are behind.... sigh.... never ending.... so stressed out right now... and tomorrow is the 8th..... March... we lost father in law in March 2004.... I dont like March much...... Things are happening right now with my mom in March that I dont like.... its because of her disease, and it can be inheirted...passed on, and can skip generations.... there's still a lot I dont understand about the disease, never have, probably never will. I dont have a mother anymore, at least in spirit, shes there but not.....