LIFE,PONDERINGS,AND FUN

Ok,So I haven't posted here since Feb..ALOT has happened since then....
Job loss in Feb. ,then other part time job lost in march, started unemployment, and still on it as of now, July 6 2009. There are no jobs to be found right now...Son got one back in June at Lowe's in deli, but that's not for me..
Daughter still working her job at Mall and came home today saying she got another job now too. Sure, kids, teens, young adults can find some, but no -one wants to hire a middle aged adult. yeah, my birthday is coming up this week. will be 46.
Daughter graduated in June from high school. It finally sank into my head. I have no more kids... adults have taken over their bodies, maybe not so much their brains...anyway... Things are changing... I don't handle change so well... went to the beach in late May. A dear friend gave us the money to go... I'm glad I got away for a bit...
Too much with money is happening right now...not enough of it for one...House is another thing...Worry... Worry is a sin... but I still do it...
Too much is circling round inside my head.....
Why do us mom's take on everybody's burdens? God made us that way, I know, but why?
I thought after we filed bankruptcy in '93 that things would slowly build up again over the years... instead they are going downhill... I will not lose my house.... I know its just a material thing.... But its HOME..
In 2006 we refinanced.I'm thankful we did that because we did have an ARM...That could have been disastrous.. James brings home 2000.00 a month. Both mortgages are 1500.00 a month... see.. not much left over to get things done and paid for. We lost my whole income of 1200-1500 a month. That hurt...
Unemployment is nothing...measley 159 a week... I'm thankful for that amount ,yes, but.....
They say as long as we dont miss another payment they wont start the foreclosure process to take it from us. Behind two payments and they are demanding that by Aug 6th. almost $4000.00 with all the late fees and such added in... where will that come from? I dont have a clue. banks turned us down for refinancing. trying to negotiate a lower payment and trying to see if we qualify for it.... tried one time but they used our $ from last year..trying again now with now $.  And doctors. owe like close to 5000.00 on them... we have an appointment in late July to see if they can help us there with that. We have not had health insurnace since before Ariana was born. we got help with her hospital bill back then in '91.
I hate this economy.....This is another great depression ..... Some people are not having problems and dont understand why us middle class and lower class are struggling.......get out of your stupid shells and look around!!   Yea, I'm a bargain shopper like a lot of people are now, but I've always been that way. Frugal.
We started building a laundry room onto the house in Aug of last yr, before the job losses. It's kinda of finished but still needs some work done...Still a hole in my kitchen where a pantry is supposed to be being built.....
one day...... and when you own a house there's always work that needs doing on it... I have a list right now of stuff that needs doing... if it doesnt get fixed soon then it will get worse.... like leaking pipes and ceiling falling down...just like a car..you must maintain it or it will get worse over time and then -boom- you have no car...
all our vechiles are used here. only one bought new was the truck in 2004 or was it 2003? I think '04 is right...
The kids cars are the oldest and i worry about them... Sons car is not looking so good.... praying it will continue to hold up...Daughters jeep is a gas guzzler and eats oil... praying for it too...
Truck's starter is going bad. has to park it on a hill to get it to start now....
well, there's so much more I could write... I got a lot off my chest... but there is still so much more.....